Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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