Its about making memories worth repressing
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
