u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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