Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
