You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
