Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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