Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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