She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
