You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
