i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
