he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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