I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
