yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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