Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
