i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize