you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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