I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
