my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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