Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
