I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
