just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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