Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize