wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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