I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
