You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I didn't notice because vodka
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
