Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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