Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
