So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Randomize
