She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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