I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When did angry sex become our thing?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize