I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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