This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize