69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I could fuck to npr.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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