Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
