I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
