I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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