My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
