So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
