Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
