I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
