my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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