Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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