Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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