in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
