Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
