She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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