is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
