Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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