Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
