On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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