The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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