why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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