I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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