I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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