I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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