im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
