There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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