I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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