Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
