I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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