And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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