I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
