butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
