party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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