dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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