just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
