Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
