so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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