I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
