I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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