I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
