he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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