Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Who wears a wallet chain?!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize