Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize
