Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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